Lois is a friend who lives in the Gables here in Fitchburg. I met her when she was Marcia’s boss. I always thought she was a good looking gal, and I loved her hair. Lois doesn’t have local family. She grew up in Nebraska but went away to the big city – New York City – to work in a library there. She got mugged while there and spent some time in the hospital. While recuperating, she learned that her mother was sick with colon cancer, so she returned to Nebraska to care for her mother. She found a library job at Kearney State College in Nebraska. After her father died in 1973, she realized she wanted to return to the east coast.
In Lois’ words she “wanted to return East and a friend sent me a NYTimes ad for the FPL position. I saw that the Director was from Brooklyn. I called and was told that Mr. Kissner would be happy to interview me if I could get there ASAP. It worked out, and I started work in December 1973. ” Art Kissner was the director of the Fitchburg Public Library when Marcia started working there in November of 1983. And that’s how I met Lois.
I offered to help her out at some point a number of years back when she needed a ride. And then, early on Veteran’s Day in 2016, she fell getting out of bed, crawled to the wall phone, and inexplicably called us instead of 911 for help.
Lois had given us her key and some papers in case anything should happen to her a few days earlier, which I thought at the time was touching, as we were clearly an important contact to her. Marcia and I drove over with our key that morning but couldn’t get in because of the security chain on the door, so I had to borrow a bolt cutter from the office. Marcia went in to help and I kept a discrete distance to preserve some semblance of modesty. The upshot was a week in the hospital and 30 days at the Golden Living Center. Nothing golden about that, believe me!
I spent the next 30 days going to Lois’ apartment almost every day to fetch her Boston Globe and mail, and to write out checks for her to pay bills – stuff like that. Lois’ niece in Texas, Sylvia, helped direct the issues involved, but she could only do so much remotely. Everyone realized that Lois couldn’t live alone in her apartment safely, so they researched assisted living places remotely.
Lois had apparently been having cognitive issues, and one of her doctors felt that she was developing dementia, which given my continuing experience with her is ludicrous and alarming when I think about how that could have impacted the rest of her life. Sylvia got information about Manor on the Hill because it has a memory care unit, and they felt Lois could transition into it if need be. I went to check it out and talked to the people there. Then I stopped at The Gables on the way home to talk to them.
From what I saw, if I had my druthers, I’d take The Gables. And that’s what I told Sylvia. Fortunately, she agreed. The Gables has been awesome. The rooms are like apartments, which made vacating Lois’ apartment for which she was still paying rent much less of a challenge. And the food at the Gables is fabulous. They said at the time that they can deal with some memory impairment, but that certainly hasn’t been an issue with Lois.
Marcia took Lois to the doctor where she was evaluated, and Marcia said Lois couldn’t draw numbers on a clock face. So I don’t blame the doctors. But it’s a lesson for me that just because a person is 87 doesn’t mean that their dementia isn’t temporary and that it might be caused by a Urinary Tract Infection or a c diff infection.
She was having trouble with her emails during the pandemic, and I couldn’t get in to help her. It’s better now at this writing, but she doesn’t seem to need much help any more. She’s still using Windows 8 and a crazy Microsoft roller ball mouse, and still reading (and replying) to her emails every day as of this writing! (July, 2022)
